29 Gifts for Thanksgiving

Okay, so this is my Thanksgiving potpourri blog, as in several things have happened over the past few days and I am going to attempt to mish them into a mashed-up blog of Thanksgiving-ness.

So last night I spent a few fantastic hours at my friend Laura's house, chatting and playing with bunnies and pouring over gorgeous wedding pictures. I love spending time with Laura; we first met at the Dell Arte Physical Theatre workshop that I attended during the summer of 2005. She is an amazing woman, a stunning actress, and a great friend. Laura is also the one who introduced me to the wonderful world of bunnies, which eventually blossomed into my current personal zoo. (Laura also writes a great blog: "Letters to Aaron Sorkin". I recommend!)

Laura and I were talking about the contradictory excitement/anxiety of waiting for audition calls. This is a big part of my day - balancing my day job with audition planning. It's stressful not knowing exactly what my schedule is going to be for the week. So how to deal with the stress? I went home thinking about this, and woke up thinking about it, and when I was thumbing through my latest issue of Yoga Journal, I remembered an article about the 29-Day Giving Challenge: http://givingchallenge.ning.com/ . Basically, a woman named Cami Walker started a movement: give one thing away each day for 29 days. Now people in 38 different countries are a part of this movement, signing up for their own 29-day challenges.

I will make my confession that I can be bratty and whiny at the end of my day (oh the horror!). I work three jobs, I take care of children, I feel like I give so much for so little return and it makes me tired. When I was thinking about it over coffee this morning, I realized that I feel the "Obligation Effect". My acts of "giving" every day feel like a job. I don't approach it with excitement, joy, or gratefulness. So at the end of the day, my attitude towards the world is, "You owe me a return. Where's my present?" (Granted, I often give myself a return in the form of ice cream).

So I would like to redirect this energy. In order to deter the anxiety that comes from "Not knowing what's next", in order to generate some energy and shift my focus away from feeling like the world owes me something, I am going to commit to the 29 Gifts challenge. I've already signed up, meaning that this is day one! I'm a little nervous and little baffled, but I think surprising things might happen.

I recommend looking at the website and thinking about participating; it's the holidays, which can be a very stressful and materialistic time. I think this is a great way to rejuvenate our spirits and prepare for the new year. If you are interested, please let me know that you're doing it too! I like company.

So to return to my Thanksgiving festivities, yesterday I saw two lovely ladies. I went to the gym and did some low-impact (um, it's still vacation!) cardio, and had lunch with Brenda. Then I had a lovely evening visit with Laura, her bunnies and her husband Zach. Both of these ladies are inspirations in my life for their work ethic, their creativity, and their huge hearts and generosity. I am grateful for my time with you Ladies!!

Today I had lunch with my old friend Ian (see picture above). We've known each other since the seventh grade and have kept in touch via the interweb, but unfortunately we haven't seen each other in eight years!! He's gotten married since I last saw him! So today, Ian and his lovely wife Melissa picked me up and we gabbed over deli sandwiches at Jerry's Deli. I am thankful for the chance to catch up with Ian and to get to know how fantastic Melissa is!

Coming home to Los Angeles is a strange phenomena: I don't have a house here anymore, there's no closet with my clothes in it, yet everywhere I turn I see memories, I see my childhood, and I see my college years. It's home, but it's no longer. Now, what is home in Los Angeles are my family, and the friends who ground me and remind me of what is wonderful in life. This year I am thankful for the time that my family and friends spend with me. Every time I am here, I learn, and I am happy.

Tanya's Favorite Things

Like Oprah Winfrey, I am going to give away my favorite things. Because they are free! I give them away with aplomb!!

Actually, what I'm going to do is post links to my favorite podcasts. I heart them enough to share them.

Radio Lab: It's like "This American Life" except for science. I warn you it's addictive.

http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/

Oh, and if you don't follow "This American Life":

http://www.thislife.org/

Also, Robert Ullrey does a great 5K training podcast for lemmings like me:

http://www.ullreys.com/robert/Podcasts/

And for Yoga, my current three favorites are Jason Crandell, Faith Hunter, and Elsie Escobar.

Jason (30 minute sessions tailored to specific muscle groups):
http://www.yogajournal.com/podcast/

Faith:
http://www.faithhunter.com/

Elsie:
http://elsieyogakula.wordpress.com/

You can also enter any of these names into the iTunes Store "Search" and they will pop up. These are podcasts I download on a weekly basis. The radio shows have really filled my life since I gave up cable, and have made cleaning my house much more enjoyable. The fitness podcasts have been a huge help since yoga classes and gym memberships are too expensive, plus it's like having a professional trainer come into your home.

Next blog: My Thanksgiving Reflections special! L.A. style...

I like this. Most of it.

You see, I want a lot.
Perhaps I want everything
the darkness that comes with every infinite fall
and the shivering blaze of every step up.

So many live on and want nothing
and are raised to the rank of prince
by the slippery ease of their light judgments.

But what you love to see are faces
that do work and feel thirst.
You love most of all those who need you
as they need a crowbar or a hoe.
You have not grown old, and it is not too late
to dive into your increasing depths
where life calmly gives out its own secret.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
Das Studenbuch (The Book of Hours)

At Thanksgiving, I karate-chop my father.

Spencer drinks out of the toilet bowl.

Thanh - "Stop drinking out of the toilet bowl. People are going to think we don't teach you manners."

Also -

Me: You're so lucky I'm funny. What would you do if I wasn't funny?

Thanh: Then I would have to be the funny one.

Me: Yeah. And you're already under so much pressure at work.

Also - Yesterday I registered at the Welles Park fitness center! So excited to use a treadmill now that the weather is turning. I discovered that I can run longer on the treadmill because it's easier on my knees, which means that I can progress to the "Week 5: from Couch to 5K" training podcast that I follow. I'm very excited about this.

And - today Thanh and I walked around Andersonville, this being my second day off! We shopped for an early Christmas present (black scarf to replace one I just lost, plus some very cute fingerless gloves that convert to mittens). We ate at Urban Belly - which we weren't very impressed with in the end. It's basically a "fusion" Asian restaurant in which Americans get very excited about the novelty of Korean soup. So...I can do ramen and beef and kimchi at home. Although I admit, their squash dumplings were delicious.

Then we headed home so that I could install 2 gigs of RAM into my laptop. I got a small Phillips-head screwdriver from CVS Pharmacy, but unfortunately, it was too small to turn the too-tight screws on the Computer-Butt (that's what I call the underneath of the computer). I was as angry as McBrides get when they can't have something done right away, until we remembered that there is a Radio Shack literally around the corner from my house. After popping in to buy a electronics-repair kit with five choices of rubber-gripped screwdrivers (for seven bucks!), we successfully installed the RAM! I turned on the laptop and TA-DAH! Booted in less than a minute. I can run more than two programs at once. CRAZY TALK.

At the Radio Shack I also managed to get a good, inexpensive pair of ear-phones, seeing as I've broken....four pairs now? To be fair, three of them were Apple headphones and those are ridiculously fragile. My new Skull Candy earphones wrap around my ears so they won't fall outwhen I'm running or doing yoga. Also, (am I alone on this?), but I don't like headphones that block out peripheral noise. It makes me feel nervous, I want to be able to hear someone coming up behind me or calling my name. So I nix earbuds and prefer those that rest in the outer channel of my aurifices.

After we fixed the computer, Thanh got inspired, ran back to Radio Shack (Employee: "Man, you guys live close.") and got a wireless router. Previously Comcast had told us that we had to install a Comcast router only, and that installation cost 150 bucks. But we refused to believe this illegal poppycock, and now we have a lovely router hooked up so that we can use the laptop in the den and the bedroom.

It's been a good day...too good...I don't trust it....

Let-down

Today at 3:05 PM I began my first three-day weekend I have had since the summertime. And the first day off in two months.

A couple of things are in effect right now - first is post-show let-down. Post-show let-down: that period of time after a show ends when one is left relieved, exhausted, and a little bit confused on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings. I personally love this period of time. It's so quiet in contrast, and I love quiet. However, performers often get sick during this time, as if our bodies were steeling itself for ten weeks and then BOOM! every virus and bug being held behind the barriers are released into the bloodstream. True to form, last Saturday I began to feel a tickle in my throat, and now I have a head cold that's holding on for dear life. I hope that this weekend I can shake it. I don't want to bring a cold home for Thanksgiving (but don't worry! I won't be bringing home the swine!!)

I worked a sold-out show last night at The Metro, came home around 1 AM and collapsed into bed, woke up with a migraine on top of the cold, pushed through work, then drove home as fast as I could, popped a migraine med and some cough medicine and knocked out for four hours. I woke up in a daze and stared at the ceiling for a half-hour. Very confused. I'm still confused, and I think it's more than the side-effects of the pharmaceuticals. I think I'm confused because I have nothing scheduled for three days. There's no structure. No demands. I have no idea which room in the house to stand in, and so I've been wandering around like an idiot. I'm already starting to feel guilty for not doing anything, and I haven't even not done anything yet.

Well, here's one thing I can hopefully look into tomorrow. I've been dreading the coming of winter because it means running outside is nixed. Which means I need to run inside. But I cannot afford a gym membership (and after being spoiled by the free and amazing Ohio State gym, I refuse to shell out hundreds of dollars for what I'm sure I can find for a paltry sum and) YES! Welles Park Community Center has a really nice fitness room that I can use for five dollars a visit. BONUS! It's right across the street from my library. I can return my books, and then do some cardio.

By the way - the money I've saved this year by using the library is obscene. Which I am thankful for because as of a month ago I no longer work my third job at Coobah. Winter season means slow restaurant business means no need for a hostess, and so I was let go. Which reminds me, it's almost time to do my Thanksgiving blessings blog, but I will end this entry with a list that my pre-schoolers generated today. There are seven blessings, and they are:

1. The robot I got for my birthday.
2. Daddies
3. Mommies
4. God and heaven (totally unprompted).
5. The park.
6. Cousins (especially ones that come to birthday parties)
7. Being tucked into bed at night by mommies.

Masked!!

A few pictures from the last night of The Fantasticks! Our dear friend and cast-mate Bill Raffel threw a wonderful party and gave us beautiful masks as a parting gift. We were floored by his generosity. From top: the cast of The Fantasticks in our dressing room, Thanh and I, and me and my gorgeous mask!

Post-Apocalypse

Yesterday I drove to an car stereo/alarm place and they ripped the brains out of my alarm system. I now have a new Christmas ornament with pretty green and red wires dangling from it.

This sets off my temper.

My car alarm goes off when I unlock my car. It goes off when I start my car. It continues to go off while I drive down the street, humiliated. It goes off when I turn off the engine. It goes off when I lock the doors.

The quiet residential street of Leland Ave. heard a mouthful tonight as I screamed obscenities into the darkness. And tomorrow, instead of sleeping, I will be driving to an alarm shop to fix the goddamn thing, and maybe I'll ask them for a frontal lobotomy while they're at it.

November Sludge

I find that this month is one of the more difficult of the year.

Some very physical changes happen: the time shifts thereby having the sun set at 4:45 PM, and the temperature drops so that a sunny day with a high in the 50's - well damn, that's like summertime in the fall.

It's also the time when you're soooo close to vacation - everybody at work is just a little more wired and the kids are starting to do the three-month burn-out.

I'm starting to feel it. The Fantasticks closes this weekend. I'm sad about this, but it has been a long run and my body is perpetually sore. My next full day off is....Saturday the 21st.

On the upside, I'm revisiting my favorite childhood books - the Anne of Green Gables series. They have not lost their charm; they still make me want to hop a plane to Nova Scotia and go exploring, and make me wonder why I wasn't a fresh-faced youth in 1908. The clothing of that era becomes me.

One of my best friends, Jimena, was in town last week for a conference. We were able to get some dinner, and work out in the gym at the W Hotel. Nothing like a treadmill with a view of Lake Michigan and Navy Pier! I'm so glad I got to see her and have lots of "girl talk" while raising our endorphin levels.

Thanh and I have caught up to the latest episode of "Dexter". This show is not to be missed. I heart Michael C. Hall.

Yesterday I got the H1N1 shot - whoo-hoo! Totally by accident, as well. I was at my allergist getting my weekly trio of shots, and as I was paying my bill, a woman came in and requested the swine shield. Apparently the office had just received them that very day. Seeing as I have asthma, I qualified. I'm quite glad - what with holiday travels, I was a little worried about exposure to the virus, and with my asthma, well, I had nightmares of ending up in the hospital again. I don't need to do that anytime soon.

Today we had the annual Bowl-a-thon at the school. It's the most stressful day of the school-year for me, and if you wonder why, well, think about taking one 3-year old bowling, and then multiply that by 16. By the time they get back to school, they are WIRED. It's a lot of stimulation for a tiny little body.

Tomorrow I have an intimidating audition - I'm avoiding preparation as we speak.

All in all - when I came home and took a nap today, I had a dreadful nightmare that I was cast at a very important theater and had missed my entire first day of work. I woke up sweating, and with a pounding heart, I donned some shoes and sweater and went across the street to drown my nerves in some Thai food. It kind of worked.

Compartmentalize

Compartmentalize: to divide up into categories or components.

What I am bad at: compartmentalizing.

Why: I see the whole task as a huge mountain that must be moved and am immediately overwhelmed by the extreme need to take a nap.

The truth: I'm great at detail-oriented work, it just takes about four hours of freaking out and procrastinating before I can let go of my fears and break a task up into little task-ettes.

And so: I am writing this blog instead of reading a script because I am afraid that I am going to love the script and either a) not be cast, or 2) I'll be cast, but will be unable to work out the schedule and do the project.

Maybe my next blog will be about letting go of expectations. And being okay with accepting situations which won't be resolved in the immediate future, as in, tomorrow. And remembering that my job is fun.

Okay, now I'll read the script.